House of Idiots
by Tiryn
Summary: Being dead was not all it's made out to be, especially when you live with a muggle that knows who you are. Oh, that's your son there? Well let's invite them in and have a grand time! At least she's okay with us being wizards and witches... Too bad she's not so nice in the morning without her coffee.


I can't believe I'm putting this out... I've been getting back into my lovely slash fantasies and was reading Harry Potter fanfiction when this idea knocked down the front door, walked right in, and said 'sup, bitches?' Yep, totally normal -_- *head desk*

So hope you all enjoy :D

Do not own familiar elements of Harry Potter

Pairings: Lily/James/Severus (well... this one is going to be weird to write xP), Sirius/Remus, Harry/Draco, Hermione/Ron (That's probably one of the VERY FEW canon pairings that I approve of...)

* * *

**_House of Idiots_**

**_Chapter 1_**

It was too damn early for this. The bloody gits were arguing in the living room.

I don't give a damn if they were ghosts or not, I will severely hurt them if they don't shut up. Why can't they just wait until I've at least had my coffee? That would have been the nice thing to do.

"I don't give a damn, James! Why didn't you tell me before?" I walked in on Lily Potter crying her ghostly eyes out at her husband, James Potter. Severus Snape, thankfully the only silent being in the room, was sitting on my couch observing. He nodded as a greeting when he saw me then went back to watching the verbal match.

These fights have been growing more and more common around my house and I sincerely wish that it would stop.

I fixed myself a coffee, just simply listening to the couple. Apparently, they've been married for some time before their deaths, but I don't believe it. Not since Severus has arrived on my doorstep wondering what the hell had happened to him. For some reason, all three were ghosts and just simply hanging around here. I was told they couldn't leave, so I just let it swing.

Besides, what the hell am I going to do with three wizard/witch ghosts?

I sighed at the warmth of the coffee. Thank the lord for the simple wonderful things in life.

I sat down next to Severus and sighed through my nose. "Do you know what they're arguing about?"

"No, but I might have an idea." I looked over at the ghost-man and raised one eyebrow. Severus came to me several weeks ago, some months after both James and Lily popped up in my house, wondering what was happening and where he was. Sadly, I was the only one who could see him. So I had to drag him home, which resulted in several fights and silence fests between the couple and the Slytherin. Still, so far, Severus Snape is my favorite out of the three dead tenants in my home.

"Please do tell." I mumbled, glaring at Lily as she yelled at James once again. From what it looked like right now, James was the victim and Lily the instigator. Or whatever that word is supposed to be.

Severus shrugged and didn't answer. I shrugged myself and attempted to find the remote. "Coffee table over there."

"Thanks, Severus." See? The Slytherin was helpful when the other two decided to be complete gits. I switched on the TV, ignoring the protests of the (semi) arguing couple. "Just move or I'll move you." James looked like he wanted to say something, but I think the glare from both the red-head and the man beside me persuaded him not to say anything stupid that would ruin his afterlife.

"Don't you have work today, Andrea?" I nodded and sipped my coffee again. Silence that only the TV cut through. Glorious. "It's 8:30..." I shrugged, not really thinking. Lily sighed, frustrated at my lack of response. "You have to be at work in fifteen minutes."

Yep, that got me up.

"OH SHIT!" I heard James laugh as I basically rampaged throughout the entire house, tossing things out of the way as I frantically dressed myself. "I'm dead, I am so dead." I grabbed my keys and purse, chugging down the rest of my coffee. "If I find anything broken when I get home, James Potter, your ass is mine and I don't give a damn about how some guy named Sirius Black is going to get my ass." I glared and ran out the door, locking it behind me and running down the steps.

Thankfully, I arrived to work right at 8:45. It's what happens when you break all of the laws about roads on the way there.

* * *

The man was confused. Severely confused. He looked around him and cursed. Was he in the Muggle world? Dead, no less? Sirius Black ran a hand through his hair and sighed. So far, nobody could see him.

Only, he had the suspicion that this blonde girl with bright green eyes could see him. She was the only one who stepped around him whenever he was in the way. Or apologize when she accidentally walked through him.

So, he followed her around, nothing better to do anyways.

He was finally able to get her alone when she took a break. She was sipping this odd concoction and smoking a fag. "So who the bloody hell are you?" That was weird. Usually, he was the one to ask the questions. Bright green eyes watched him as he stopped in surprise. "I asked a question, I suggest making it quick before someone else comes out here and finally drags me to an asylum."

He watched her for a minute then shrugged. What's the worse she could do to him anyways? "Sirius Black." She almost choked on her cigarette.

"You're the damn idiot James has been telling me about?" What the bloody hell was she talking about? She stomped on her cigarette and huffed. "Alright, look, my shift ends in thirty minutes, and after that, I'm taking you home with me. If you fight with any of the others, I will castrate you." She glared at him as he opened a mouth to make a comment. "I don't give a damn if you're dead, Black. I'm sick of the headaches in the morning."

He growled and cursed, but nodded.

After thirty more boring minutes of working in the backroom, Andrea grabbed her jacket and walked out of the restaurant, Sirius Black trailing her.

"You don't seem that surprised to see me." Sirius said, watching the scenery go by in the car. Muggles always seem to create some of the coolest stuff.

"That's because you people keep finding me. Not that hard to get used to it." A red light turned green. Andrea turned left and continued driving. "So, are you also a wizard?" Sirius froze at that. "So that's a yes. You all react the same, too, damn."

They stopped in front of an apartment and got out. "Come on, time to go on in." She turned to Sirius and grinned. "Welcome to the family, Black."

* * *

**_So, yeah... Guess I really need to stop doing stuff like this... Oh well, can't help it very much ^^U  
_**

**_Hope you all enjoyed the first chapter of 'House of Idiots' :D_**

**_Please tell me what you think so I can improve~_**


End file.
